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Disarray

by Jonathan Stonehocker

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1.
There for me 03:45
Driving down a lonely road, Thinking there you’ll find a home, But trust me I’ve been down that road, And it’s not the way to go. Sirens call and moonlight weeps, While the world is fast asleep, Taken down by empty screens, But that’s not the life we need. You look me in the eyes, Say something isn’t right. You’re drowning in the desert, And falling in the sea. When you begin to cry, Know it’ll be alright. I’ll dry up all your tears, Erase your every fear. I’ll be there in the middle of the night. Sunshine or twilight I’m by your side. Falling from the sky, or you’re tumbling to the ground, Or your thoughts are just too loud, I’ll be there for you, Cause you were there for me. There’s no shame in losing hope, Just remember light still glows, Blooming like a crimson rose, But that’s not the life you chose. Now your heart is void of dreams, And I can’t tell you what it means, Cause when you’re bursting at the seams, Only God can know your pain You look me in the eyes, Say something isn’t right. You’re drowning in the desert, And falling in the sea. When you begin to cry, Know it’ll be alright. I’ll dry up all your tears, Erase your every fear. I’ll be there in the middle of the night. Sunshine or twilight I’m by your side. Falling from the sky, or you’re tumbling to the ground, Or your thoughts are just too loud, I’ll be there for you, Cause you were there for me. . I’ll be there in the middle of the night. Sunshine or twilight I’m by your side. Falling from the sky, or you’re tumbling to the ground, Or your thoughts are just too loud, I’ll be there for you, Cause you were there for me.
2.
I’m looking up and the skies are blue, Nothing could go wrong and I know that’s true. I’m walking down sunshine avenue. I didn’t know I could feel this free, Nobody can tell me who I’m gonna be, I’m feeling good now that I can breathe. Even if the sky falls and the world ends, I know the good times are around the bend. It’s gonna be a good day, No more disarray, And all my troubles are far away. Even if you tried, You couldn’t let me down, Couldn’t make me frown, Don’t even try, cause it’s one of those days. I living life and I’m feeling great, If you don’t understand me let me illustrate, The pictures that are living in my mind, It’s not always clear what you’re reaching for, To see it you just need to open the door, And realize there is so much more in store. Even if the sky falls, even if the world ends, I know the good times are around the bend. It’s gonna be a good day, No more disarray, And all my troubles are far away. Even if you tried, You couldn’t let me down, Couldn’t make me frown, Don’t even try cause it’s one of those days. (one of those days) It’s gonna be a good day, No more disarray, And all my troubles are far away. Even if you tried, You couldn’t let me down, Couldn’t make me frown, Don’t even try.
3.
Remedy 03:26
One, two, three, The tears on my pillow Are singing me to sleep. Four, five, six, The lullabye they sing me, It makes me sick. Seven, Eight, Nine, I know that I told you I was fine, But that was a lie, I'm dying inside. And while I run forward, I fall sideways, And inside out, Cause I can't escape your memory, And while it hurts like heck you gave me, A melody that I can sing when I'm depressed But then I see that the poison shouldn't be my remedy. One, two, three, There’s not way I’m forgetting, The things you said to me. Four, five, six, You don’t know what I’d give for one more kiss Seven, Eight, Nine, I know that I told you I was fine, But that was a lie, I'm dying inside. And while I run forward, I fall sideways, And inside out, Cause I can't escape your memory, And while it hurts like heck you gave me, A melody that I can sing when I'm depressed and then I see that the poison shouldn't be my remedy. The poison shouldn't be my remedy. Ohh the poison shouldn't be my remedy
4.
In my Dreams 03:15
I take a drive, Cause lately I've had so much on my mind. I've crossed a line, And lately it's been hard to say I'm fine. (Ohhhh) I’m living in my dreams, The only place that I can breathe. (Ohhhh) It’s there I’m feeling free, The way I want to be. In my dreams, I’m living like there’s no tomorrow. In my dreams, I don’t worry about a life full of sorrow. In my dreams, I know, When I wake it goes away… But till then, I’ll be in my dreams. I take a walk, Cause me and God we need a chance to talk. I try my best, And I’m hoping maybe he’ll fill in the rest. (Ohhhh) I want to live my dreams, It’s not that hard to see (Ohhhh) I’m finally living free, The way that I should be. In my dreams, I’m living like there’s no tomorrow. In my dreams, I don’t worry about a life full of sorrow. In my dreams, I know, When I wake it goes away… But till then, I’ll be in my dreams.
5.
Been riding this train for a while Going nowhere for miles and miles. I stare out the window to see But my eyes are closed to what I could be I don't wanna live just to die I know that there's more to be found inside I don't wanna feel just to cry Maybe I should open up my eyes. I want to feel something real Don't wanna lie to myself it won't help I want to love someone who can get me through the highs and the lows I don't care what it takes! I don't want to break! I won't be afraid! I'm no prisoner to shame. I'm trapped in my mind all the time But when anyone asks me I'm fine The man In the mirror is not who he used to be I don't wanna live just to die I know that there's more to be found inside I don't wanna feel just to cry Maybe I should open up my eyes. I want to feel something real Don't wanna lie to myself it won't help I want to love someone who can get me through the highs and the lows I don't care what it takes! I don't want to break! I won't be afraid! (Won't be afraid) I'm no prisoner to shame. (Whoa…)
6.
Not so Blue 03:11
Been feeling lonely lately, It's something I feel daily, so I guess I'll speak plainly. I want you here by my side. You bring the best out of me, I'm sure it's not hard to see, the boy that I used to be, is not the man I am now. You are the best of the best, the beating heart in my chest, you keep the thoughts in my head, from driving me insane. You help me handle the pain, when things aren't going my way, You keep my demons away, and get me feeling OK. happiness is not a word you can define. When I'm with you I know everything is gonna be alright. nothing compares to when I’m holding you tight, cause I'm yours in your mine for the ride. Before I met you I was so cold. Then you turned me into gold. I found you that's true and now I'm not so blue. Now I'm not so blue. Babe don't worry about it, there's no need for conflict, I guess I'll admit that I love you. no matter how hard I try, you're always inside my mind but I don't mind, cause I love the way your smile shines. Don't you forget about me. (I) Don't want to be the one blind when you see I'm alone and I don't got a home. I need you to keep moving, you're the only reason I'm improving and I know that we'll never plateau. Happiness is not a word you can define. When I'm with you I know everything is gonna be alright. nothing compares to when I’m holding you tight, cause I'm yours in your mine for the ride. Before I met you I was so cold. Then you turned me into gold. I found you, that's true, and now I'm not so blue. Now I'm not so blue. One thing I know for sure, it lights up my world, when I see that girl! Before I met you I was so cold. Then you turned me into gold. I found you that's true and now I'm not so blue. Now I'm not so blue.
7.
Be OK 03:12
I wish that I could stay, But i have to go away, Cause every single day, The world is wasting away, So many fires, Fueled by selfish desires, Can’t take all these lies. But every time I see your face, I think I’ll be OK, And every time I hold your hand, I think I’ll be alright, But if you hold me in your arms, I think I’ll Be OK, I think I’ll Be OK, Every little ounce of these empty cups, Are filling up my heart with the lies from inside, every piece of broken glass, I'm picking up with my hands, But no one understands. But every time I see your face, I think I’ll be OK, And every time I hold your hand, I think I’ll be alright, But if you hold me in your arms, I think I’ll Be OK, I think I’ll Be OK, I think I’ll Be OK, (Okay) I think I’ll Be OK.
8.
Here’s a few lines that I wrote in a hurricane, Floating on a boat and I think I’m about to go insane, Clouds came along and they tried to reign on my parade, Not today. Not today. The waves are getting bigger and they’re rocking the boat again, The winds picking up and it’s hard to be steady, When I’m running so fast but I’m not getting anywhere, But I’m not Scared! I’ll never surrender, Even if I've got to lose it all. I’ll always remember, To fly you need to fall. I’m holding on tight, On the ride of my life. Soon it won’t trouble me no more. Making things last is hard in the places where, The glass is real thin if it breaks, Well, I’m falling, If I crash through the floor, I’ve got no one to catch me, But it ain’t too late to get away. I’m holding on tight to the walls, looking for a way to leave this place, but to fly you need to fall And I'm not scared. I’ll never surrender, Even if I've got to lose it all. I’ll always remember, To fly you need to fall. I’m holding on tight, On the ride of my life. Soon it won’t trouble me no more. I’ll never surrender, Even if I’ve got to lose it all. I’ll always remember, To fly you need to fall. I’m holding on tight, On the ride of my life. Soon it won’t trouble me no more. I’ll never surrender

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released December 26, 2022

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Jonathan Stonehocker Evans, Georgia

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